Things you learn in your 20’s…

I’m 25 years old, I still live at home with my parents, I have a job that I don’t really love and I most definitely don’t have all of my sh*t together. But c’est la vie guys because this is what the majority of people my age are dealing with, so read on to see the things I have learned about myself and life so far! (Let’s also remember I still have a few years left in my 20’s so pleanty more to learn).

1. You probably won’t find or get your dream job right out of University/ College

Holding onto my hopes and dreams there thinking…what happens now?

You heard me correctly. When you are in school and have to decide what to do next, it’s hard. Whether you go straight into work or go to University, chances are you may not have fully decided what you want to with your life, and to be honest that’s ok. How many of us have been able to say at 17/18 that we know what we want to do forever. Even if you did know, does that mean you still want to pursue the same goals and career you once did? absolutely not.

My sister went through a lot of different career ideas, thinking about what she would enjoy, be good at and also what the salary is. It took her until the age of 25 to actually find something she could settle into and have a passion for. But at 18, that’s a tough thing to do. I’m only just starting to figure out what I want to do and it’s tough, I think I have finally realised what I want to do, but you shouldn’t worry if you haven’t and not everyone needs to. This is what these years are for, figuring out what we want out of life whether choosing a career, deciding what industry to work in, and even if becoming a parent is what you are ready for. We all need to take the time to decide….we can’t rush into something we may later regret.

2. Your parents actually make a lot more sense than you thought

My parents and sister.

As you grow older, you suddenly start to see just how wise your mum and dad can be. Not everyone is, but I often wonder what I would do without my mum and dad. Whether it’s helping me figure out the right tax code, telling me how to properly hang out my washing (I do know how to, but according to my dad…I’m wrong), or even just explaining the basic things you should know. I would be lost without my parents, and it just makes you think back to when you would argue about the silly things growing up. Yes we still fight on occasion but it’s never serious and I always feel bad afterwards. As you mature, it slowly hits home that your parents have been through what you have and they made it out, they are there with a fountain of knowledge, so start listening!

3.  You should have appreciated school more when you had the chance

This is a hard one to admit because school is not always the best time for people, and when you are in it you just want to finish and be ‘free’. Then you grow up, realise you aren’t married with three kids by 27 like you imagined because back then 27 sounded so old! Instead you are just trying to get through each day of work, paying bills and getting your life together thinking of the good old days when the hardest choice you had to make was hot lunch or packed lunch? My school experience was great. Primary and secondary school. I was lucky to have a good group of friends, the ones I was closest too are still very much in my life, and it’s so wonderful to see how our lives are changing. When you meet someone at 11/ 12 years old you are just babies still really, we played games, argued, talked about the latest Georgia Nicolson book (I’m looking at you Lauren) and we just did what teenagers do, you bond.

By the end I was ready to leave, but the idea of not seeing my friends all the time was hard to take. Luckily one of my closest did the same University course so it was like taking a comfort blanket with me on the next stage of life. It’s easy to let friendships dwindle, until they become just people you say hi to every now and again, but that’s something else you learn too… maintaining friendships takes dedication and it takes two!

School friends at my 24th Birthday

4. Quality over quantity (Friends)

That brings me on to my next point. As you grow older, you also suddenly realise that being everyone’s best friend, or being liked by everyone is not that important. I don’t have 50 close friends, I don’t spend my time trying to be loved by everyone. You start to realise that having 5 quality people, or even 1 is so much better than having false friendships. I have a great group of people who I surround myself with, not all of my close friends hang out together, I have friends from school, friends from past jobs and just people I have met along the way! I’m ok with that, I make an effort to hang out with everyone and speak to them as often as I can. Life often gets in the way, when your friends have their own lives, jobs, babies everything, you start to understand that even though you don’t spend every day together, or even every month, quality friends will always be there and you know that even when you haven’t spoken to them for a few weeks, the next time you pick up the phone it will feel like you never spent anytime apart.

5. Confidence comes with time

This was a major breakthrough for me. When you are younger and don’t know how to do your hair (Thank you afro curls), when you stab you eye with masacra 10 times a day before learning how to apply it or even just learning your own style with clothes, this takes time and during it, you feel like everyone around you has it all figured out. They don’t. I am quite shy sometimes around people, but once you know me, I am not a quiet person.  Growing up however I always felt really awkward. Whether it was because I was taller than a lot of my friends, or feeling fat at times, getting your period and just thinking what the hell do I do with a tampon? (Still not entirely sure on that one). It’s a lot to handle and your confidence takes a back seat. I was most definitely a late bloomer,I thought that a boy would never like me (Although in your 20’s you end up not liking men very much), and I just wanted to know if I would feel better about myself. I looked at other people and just thought maybe I should be like them, dress like them and change myself? But in reality you should just be striving to be the best version of you. It sounds cheesy, but it would save a lot of time if you could go back in time and talk to your teenage self, give that girl or guy a hug and say look it does get better!

6. Happy Hour is there for a reason

A very important lesson I have learned, wine is a great friend 🙂 Not everyone likes drinking or feels the need to, but when I’ve had a bad day then a glass (bottle) of wine is exactly what the doctor ordered. Sometimes it’s just a nice way to unwind, have fun if you are drinking with friends and let loose. Like I said, figuring out what you are doing in life is hard, why not take a step back and use that hard-earned cash on some fun once in a while. I don’t drink every week, and I can happily go out dancing sober, but you learn why the grown up juice is always flowing, and why happy hour is indeed ‘HAPPY’.

7. You are not alone

I am someone who can easily get lost in own thoughts, I have had times when I feel quite lonely just for whatever reason, but my friends have taught me that it isn’t the case. Whether you are struggling with finding a job, the loss of a loved one, even just have a really bad day, you need to know you are not alone. We all go through this, I’m sure we all by now have probably spent a night crying over a broken heart, we have all had too much to drink and done something we regret and we have definitely been through hard times. There are people going through the same things on a daily basis, but I have also learnt that there is always someone in my life I can turn to with whatever might be on my mind,someone you know can always relate and offer advice.

Just some of my friends and family

My friends and family are always there to help and things will get better. So if you learn nothing else, you certainly find out who you can rely on, you learn that you are stronger than you think and you definitely learn to appreciate each day even if it’s a bad one.

Thanks for reading everyone… comment below on what you have learnt so far whether in your 20’s or not 🙂

Love

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