I think it’s safe to say that for most of us, our relationship with our bodies, food, fitness and health in general can be…complicated. Especially for women!
I grew up in that lovely time when celebrities were constantly on the cover of magazines being fat shamed on a daily basis. Whether it was Jessica Simpson in her ‘mom jeans’, young Hollywood actresses having any small bit of cellulite highlighted in a red circle, and then critiqued in equal measure when they became a size zero. You couldn’t win! No matter what you did.
Whilst this consumption of media didn’t influence me in an extreme way of developing an eating disorder, this is what happened to many girls and young women. For some of us however, it did leave us with very mixed messages on what it is to be healthy, as well as how you should look to be; pretty, skinny enough, acceptable and ‘healthy’. I always believed that 1200 calories was what we women should eat, in order to be successful on a diet. Which given the knowledge I have now is pretty disgusting. For the record, 1200 calories is more in line with what a child should eat (of course I am not speaking for every person and what works best for their body).
However, I feel as though I’ve been on my own journey in the last few years. It actually started during the pandemic. I took that time to really not concern myself with losing weight, or dieting at all. I had for a time been using intermittent fasting as a way to maintain/ lose weight. Whilst I did have some success, it did also feel like a big commitment, and at times not always easy to maintain. Intermittent fasting does claim to offer far more benefits than simply about losing weight, so there are other reasons one could use it as a health tool. But during the pandemic I didn’t really want to focus on that, especially as the supermarkets had limited stock of foods, I mainly focused on buying frozen and other foods that would last. Instead, I just ate whatever, whenever. Which I’m sure a lot of us did. This was almost my own reset. After fasting for a number of months, I wanted to try and get to a place where my eating habits were ‘normal’ again. It was almost my own version of Stephanie Buttermore‘s reverse dieting journey, but on a much smaller scale.
So as lockdown continued, I didn’t concentrate on what I was eating in an overly conscious way, just choosing whatever food I was in the mood for. Although I tried to exercise, I didn’t have any sort of routine. Of course I did put on weight, but I was not keeping track, it was inevitable in my eyes, as I was no longer fasting. As life slowly moved back to normal, with lockdown coming to an end and most of us returning to the office and on site at our jobs. That’s probably when a lot of us realised that the work clothes were a little snug compared to our pjs and loungewear. I know that was the case for me, and that was ok, I expected it. By the time I was back at work, I felt like my appetite was back to my pre- fasting days. However, I didn’t really change anything on a great scale for my eating habits. Instead I started to walk more. Walking to and from work as much as I could. This was something I wanted to do, and enjoyed, which made it fun. That’s also what my journey has been about, doing things I enjoy as the main reason behind it.
Eventually walking to work became just a little too time consuming, and in the winter, not really easy to maintain. There was a long spell where I really wasn’t exercising at all. I wasn’t motivated, I had a lot going on that kept me busy and in some ways it was a little bit of laziness too. However, I’m glad that I had this gap. And although I wasn’t exercising, and really was not dieting, my weight remained fairly the same, give or take a pound or two. Naturally however, I have found myself wanting to exercise, needing to feel fitter in myself, and really wanting to challenge myself. The food aspect is a little more up and down. I honestly struggle sometimes to always cook healthy, protein filled and nutritious meals. Especially as a vegetarian, it can be a little hard to have enough variety, but again sometimes it is down to being lazy. Between work and studying, not everything can balance all at once.
That being said. Recently I have started a running challenge. I wanted to get more cardio into my routine, as I spend the majority of my day at a desk. Initially I was going to use the 10k runner app. But instead of using that, I thought it would be more fun to try a running plan I found online called the ‘Couch to Eras tour‘. A play on couch to 10k, but incorporating Taylor Swift’s insane prep before her tour. She said in an interview that she would run on a treadmill daily, singing her songs to prepare for the tour. Therefore, this challenge is 20 weeks in total, starting from walking/ running, progressing to a 5k, then 10k and ending with the full set list of the Era’s tour. I’m only three weeks in, but I am already enjoying it. It’s definitely a struggle to get into the routine and essentially starting from fitness level 0, but also incredibly motivating to be able to see how I progress. I am actually attending the eras tour, so also a handy way to get familiar with the set list too!
I find that naturally as you start working out, as long as you maintain it, then your eating habits alongside that develop too. I sort of start to crave a healthier diet when I exercise, and I find that is what I’m striving for as my running begins to progress. However, what’s great about the past few years, is that I feel no pressure to eat a certain way, and not even calorie count. Whilst it absolutely works to lose weight, I also think that we need to all figure out what works for each of us. It’s not that I wouldn’t mind losing some weight, but my shift in focus the last few years has allowed me to see what doesn’t work. After taking time out of doing anything, I have started to crave wanting to exercise, and following that now adjusting my eating habits.
Whilst I am only a few weeks into this, I think this journey has been really interesting. Sometimes we have to do factory reset on ourselves it seems. And now that I have, I’m choosing to do things that I want, rather than trying to follow the latest craze, trying to look like someone else, or putting pressure on myself. That’s not to say I want to allow myself to be lazy, which can easily happen, but a happy balance is what I strive for.
This post really is to say that we all have to figure out what works best for us. I think we can obtain a lot of knowledge and advice online, but also a lot of BS. We need to be careful how we navigate so much conflicting advice, and ultimately trust what works best for you and your body. I’m feeling really positive lately, and just wanted to share that it’s taken a good couple of years to feel this way. I still would like to improve my body in some areas, but what’s most important is I am happy with myself as I am, and just doing what will challenge me, but enjoy at the same time.
Love
