It’s been a little while since I have written about a book. After studying last year, I took a break and somehow that turned into a lack of motivation for any reading. But that changed when I finally purchased this book ‘Know my Name’ by Chanel Miller, which had been on my must read list for some time.
If you are familiar with the Stanford sexual assault case, then you may already have heard of Chanel, or know her story, at least… part of it. The Stanford case is a famous case in the US, and around the world, but what most people knew was the name of the accused, the verdict and the fact that the victim was only known as Emily Doe. This case was a sexual assault and the person accused and ultimately convicted was Brock Turner, a name most people recognise, not only because of his crime but because of the sentence he ultimately received. This sentence skyrocketed this case onto even more so than it already had been, as the judge decided that a 6 month sentence was enough of a punishment for Brock. This sentence was not only insulting to Chanel and what she went through, but made a joke of the justice system in my opinion. Chanel was rightfully protected during the case and after, but ultimately a few years after the case, she decided to not only release her name, but also to share her story of what it was like to live through.
The book begins with the night of the assault, with Chanel detailing everything, from starting the evening having dinner with her family, and later being dropped off by her mother at a college party. What follows in the book is Chanel’s account of waking up, being told she may have been assaulted.
I don’t want to be hyperbolic when I say that I feel as though this book is one of the best things I’ve ever read. Truly, truly. It’s an amazing, beautifully written book and it is one that will stay with me forever, I really do mean that. Chanel absolutely has a gift as a writer, when I say from page one I felt like I was in this with her, I mean it. I was in that party with Chanel, I was listening to the nurses explain the process of the rape kit, every moment I felt invited in by Chanel. I emerged from this book feeling as though she was a friend. And my goodness what a friend to have. I think I cried at least 6 times during this book, although I was well aware of this case prior, it still shocked me, angered me and upset me greatly.
This journey of Chanel’s is not pretty, but it is real. I always thought I had a somewhat decent understanding of what a sexual assault victim must go through after the fact, but what Chanel details, it is eye opening to a new degree. She details the thoughts a victim goes through throughout, and not just her, but her family, friends, how she had to try to go to work, yet process everything on a daily basis, whilst her life was also placed on hold essentially, beholden to the slow moving court system and its delays. Beyond the details of how she felt during the trial and after, what Chanel also does, is really highlight just how life changing an assault can be, in ways you couldn’t really imagine, unless you had been through it.
We see Chanel feel angry at men cat calling her in the street, we experience her lash out at her family and boyfriend, move far away to get away from where it happened, and completely break; and as she says, almost remain frozen in time for over a year during trial. And yet, we also see her rebuild herself, slowly and surely. Alongside her sister, parents and those wonderful people in her life she let in over time and gradually when she was ready to share. I feel as though I need to read this book again, having only just finished it, because there was so much detail and emotion to try to observe and grasp in full. It is a testament to Chanel as a writer, because I almost couldn’t read the words fast enough at times. Seeing just how she felt hearing the jury read their verdict was emotional for me in a way I didn’t expect (yes that was one of the times I cried), and even more so at the sentencing hearing. I have felt such anger for Chanel, wanting to reach my hand in and slap her attacker multiple times, mouthing expletives to describe him and his father quite frankly.
If you are familiar with this case, then you will be aware of the victim impact statement Chanel had written during the sentencing hearing. This statement later released to the public was shared widely throughout the world. It sparked a huge reaction to the case, alongside the lack of accountability that was handed down. This statement, for many victims felt for the first time they were able to read exactly how they had felt in their own trials and in the aftermath of their assaults too. This was beautifully written by Chanel, and resonated with countless people around the world. I actually didn’t read it myself in the book, I instead found a video of Chanel (after waving her anonymity) reading it herself. It was emotional, but amazing to hear her words from her directly, and these words will also stay with me forever.
Chanel, as you can tell from the fact we have her name on this book, ultimately decided to reveal her identity a few years after the trial. She has been able to talk openly in this book, but furthered that message with the interviews she has given. I already have watched quite a few, as I just feel that what she has to say has been so important. I urge everyone to read this book at least once, because it really is so inspiring.
If you don’t have a chance to read this book, then I urge everyone to watch the video linked of Chanel’s Victim impact statement. It is amazing, and powerful and is a beautiful example of the person Chanel is: strong, articulate, intelligent, caring and special. Victim Impact Statement
Book rating – 10/10
Recommend – Yes
Read again?– Absolutely!
Love
