Trusting your gut, and trusting your heart is something we all say and advise to others, but how often do we actually do it for ourselves? And what do we do when we even doubt our own feelings? I know that when there are big choices to make, I always follow my heart, and what my gut instinct is telling me. Yet sometimes, that feeling isn’t always reliable, particularly when it comes to matters of the heart.
It should be simple, you meet someone, you like each other and you date, get to know one another and life is peachy, at least during the honey moon period. But what happens when past experience and self-doubt start to get in the way? Suddenly your gut feeling isn’t so clear, and rational thought becomes jumbled up with insecurities and letting your imagination, get the better of you. I know that this is something I have been dealing with lately, and I hate that I keep letting my past experience, influence my thoughts and feelings. No matter how much you think you might be over something, or someone, it is only when you face someone new, and putting your trust into them, you come to realise, that the hurt you felt can still catch you. If you have been cheated on you will undoubtedly have trust issues, if you have been rejected, you are scared to try again and be confident and if you have ever felt unwanted or not good enough, these feelings resurface very easily. It’s horrible to go through these things when they are happening, but it’s also hard to relive them. Even if you are with someone who is amazing, and treats you like a princess, somehow that feeling is hard to shake.
From what I know now, I can say that slowly those old feelings do start to be forgotten, your head becomes clearer and you can begin to just enjoy the excitement of meeting someone new, and hopefully the right person for you. After some time, you will learn not to paint everyone with the same brush, and trust them, but more importantly trust yourself and your gut.
Of course your friends are also a huge part of that, and I know for me, I would be lost without the advice and reassurance I get from my friends. Not that I would share details of every part of a relationship, but I definitely come to them when I start to get the old insecurities back, and to be reminded to have a little faith. I am someone who gives people the benefit of the doubt a little too easily, and used to trust very easily too. I don’t want to change who I am because of other people.
The most important relationship you will have, is the one you have with yourself, so if you can’t trust you first, then you will struggle to fully trust others. Being hurt is part of life, but we should never let that damage who we are. Learn, move on and live your life.